Crab Review – Not a Flashlight, But…

Contents

The Boring Stuff

u/BullstrongDVM sent me this crab in exchange for a honest review. Here is the official product page. Below are the official specs.

What comes in the box?

Who knows? Probably a crab. I didn’t get a box.

Design & Construction

The design is elegant and crab-like.

The polymer construction is extremely durable. I did a drop test from the Empire State Building down onto the concrete sidewalk and it survived with no damage.

Size & Measurements

MeasurementMeasured (mm)
Width62
Depth33
Height27
Claw Span17

Weight: 8g / 0.3oz

User Interface

StateActionResult
UnburdenedPut Flashlight On ItBurdened
BurdenedRemove FlashlightUnburdened

This is an excellent UI for a plastic crab. No complicated series’ of button presses like Anduril.

Modes, Brightness & Throw

Modes: Holding flashlight, or not holding flashlight

Brightness: It brightens your day but does not actually emit light.

Throw: I reckon I could chuck this little sucker about 10 yards er so

Runtime & Currents

Runtime: Unfortunately its legs are fixed so it cannot run. Therefore I cannot perform a runtime test.

Currents: It’s built to withstand ocean currents but I am not equipped to test their magnitude.

Driver & Regulation

It has no driver. It is a plastic crab. Now, if it had wheels, that would be another story.

Emitter & Beam

It has no emitter and therefore no beam. It is a plastic crab.

Switch

It has no switch. It is a plastic crab.

Carry & Ergonomics

I tried to get the crab to carry a variety of lights. I found that a Wurkkos WK02 was most suitable, and that an Acebeam X50 is simply too heavy and the crab will tire and set it down after a few seconds.

Batteries & Charging

Batteries: It is powered by cosmic energy and therefore takes no batteries.

Charging: I connected it to a car battery charger but it did not do anything.

Competition

Here are some creatures in the same class and how they compare.

Lobster

Scorpion

This section is not comprehensive. If I didn’t include a particular creature here, it doesn’t mean it’s bad or doesn’t deserve to be here. I simply cannot list every possible competitor.

Conclusion

If you are looking for a plastic crustacean to hold your flashlight so you can participate in a short-lived meme trend on r/flashlight, this is that and I highly recommend it.

Thanks to u/BullstrongDVM for sending me this little guy for review!

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